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Is There Life After The Internet?

January 21, 2010

I’m not even going to try to calculate up how long it’s been since my last post. No, I’m not! Because all that will do is piss me off again about the reason for my absence.
I don’t know about you but I absolutely HATE my internet provider! Comcast sucks a big ass! I have had little to no service for almost a month now. They have sent over three different technicians to help rectify my problem. The first one came into my home speaking little to no English,which I’m going to assume is why he didn’t tell me that while he was up in my attic , he stepped wrong and now my ceiling has a huge crack in it! That man left me wishing I would have listened a little better in Spanish class and learned how to say “Fuck You Pedro” in a way he could understand it!
The second tech I had hopes for. The way he swaggered into my home,speaking my language and assuring me that my internet problems would soon be over. I bought into it,hook,line and sinker. Until an hour after he left my connection went completely dead. UGH!
I wanted to scream,but more than anything I wanted my internet back,slash that, I NEEDED my internet back. Without it these last couple of weeks, I had no idea what to do with myself. It’s been so long that I’ve been an internet junkie ,I can’t recall what I use to do with my time before it.
The first week while I waited patiently for Pedro’s arrival, I kept myself in denial. I thought surely if I pressed the Firefox button harder that miraculously my precious internet would appear,and honestly a couple of times that did work. When it would,it would throw me into a typing frenzy, typing in all my favorite websites,and opening numerous tabs to hold them all. I would start to feel like life was going back to normal,smiling and feeling content,only to have that happiness ripped from me when the page would refresh and come back up with “SERVER NOT FOUND”! Every time that would happen, I would want to hit someone or something,and after a couple of days the server wasn’t the only thing that couldn’t be found. My family,and small animals were no where to be found either.
Feeling lonely and trying to come to terms with the fact that my internet was gone, I decided to try and remember what I use to do B.I (before internet). It all seemed like such a distant memory, like when I use to leave my house,or talk to people using my mouth and not a keyboard. Surely these things had to be so outdated and useless now. I really felt like Helen Keller as  I tried to go back to the olden days and reacquaint myself with things and people outside my virtual world.Praying the whole time,that a Anne Sullivan type would come in and teach me how to live in this strange world , a world that certainly did not get my humor like my virtual world did.
The sadness of the whole situation was about to overwhelm me,when there was a knock at the door,and minutes later my prayers were answered. For who stood behind that door was a cable guy that actually KNEW what he was doing,and restored my internet service and my life back to normal. :o)

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30 comments

  1. Wow… I’m first
    I have comcast too, it’s always going out. I usually take that black box and unscrew the cable, let it sit for a minute, then screw it back in and it usually works. On a couple occasions I’ve been forced to gut and rebuild the whole box. It works just enough so that it doesn’t piss me off bad enough to switch to another inadequate internet provider.


    • Oh, I have messed more with that little black box than my own box has been messed with in my life,FS! Although, I have never taken it apart and rebuilt the damn thing,that’s kind of impressive!


  2. HAHAHA I love this post, and know exactly how you feel!! Even just going out of town for a few days without access leaves me completely insane. Glad you’re back!


    • I wonder if they will ever open a treatment center for internet addicts,Carissajaded. If so…I’ll see you there!


  3. I thought you’d died. And, in a way, you had. I think we might as well have the Internet implanted in our brains at this point. We can’t live without it.


    • I’m sure that’s in the future,Mike!


  4. Freaksmack has the right idea. In many cases that will solve the problem. It simply resets the modem. You can unplug it and remove the battery too. That could solve your problem.
    One of the Comcast techs showed me that-he was Mexican. Guess our Mexicans are better than your Mexicans.
    Incidentally, it’s been almost 3 weeks since your last post.


    • I’ve tried that trick numerous times, “Mr. Comcast”. What was actually wrong with it ,was there was a burr in the line.


  5. Wow, no internet! And you survived. Good on you. A day without internet is like a day without orange juice.


    • I think it’s even worse than that,Nonamedufus!


  6. Wine helps when the internet service goes down. I can acually get some laundry done!
    Glad you’re up and running.
    <


    • I did a lot of whining when my service went down,Noe Noe!


  7. You must have been a joy to live with …… thank heavens for oceans …… tee hee …… oh, and BTW, never blog while peeing [or worse], you can get confused and mix up the lappytop with the paper ….. just sayin’


    • That might explain why my keys are sticky,DP. LOL!


  8. Go out…buy a laptop or netbook and then when an emergency happens next time…just head to the free wifi places. Not only will you get internet and caffeinated…you’ll have oodles (yes, I said that word) of blog fodder watching the people that come in and out of the coffee shop…


    • I have a laptop,VE. I just hate going to those places.


  9. i understand….
    i just moved out of home and it was 5 weeks until i got the internet again….

    you feel naked and isolated without it

    xoxo

    http://marleesmovements.blogspot.com/


    • You poor thing,Marlee! Glad we are both up and running again!


  10. Wow, I would have been very upset too!
    This is a great post, and you have fun comment thingy,
    I hope your internet days are great from now on!


    • Thank you,Amusing Bunni! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it stays great!!


  11. Oh girl, I feel for ya! I get internet/computer access whenever my other half is sleeping or otherwise occupied. Granted I also have to be home from work. I’ve been feeling rather deprived here as well! Good luck in the future with your internet provider!


    • Thanks, Skye! Hope you get more internet time, I think it’s good for the soul! LOL!


  12. Thank Jeebus you’re back. Having no Internet is like having both arms cut off with Jack Bauer screaming in your face asking for nuclear launch codes before he’ll use the tourniquets. Okay, maybe it isn’t like that exactly–but close.

    PS- the best Spanish curse you can yell is “Ijo de puta”–it means son of a whore. “Ija de puta” if it’s a woman. Just be ready to duck after you say it.


    • That is exactly what it’s like,Kathcom! How did you know!?!


  13. Some very interesting information here, and a very interesting blog too.

    I will have to bookmark this and stop by more often.

    thanks.


    • Stop by anytime,Betty!


  14. OMG….you were without it too?! We need to start a support group..one we hook into our cell phones for when one of us loses Internet..

    Oh yeah…and Comcast has nothing on the AT&T butt monkeys we have…

    Bastards don’t know how hard it is to run down and sit in your car at the library checking your emails at midnight, praying a cop doesn’t pull up and ask you what the hell you’re doing..


    • That’s a plan,Nipster! Hopefully though neither one of us will lose our internet again!!


  15. Let’s see… We had AT&T cable. It sucked. They were bought by Comcast. They sucked even worse. They were bought by Time Warner Cable. They are OK, but their customer service sucks. I can’t win, in our town at least.

    Where did you get that picture of the woman with the lap top on the floor? I might want to blog about it. LOL. Great snap shot!


    • I don’t know exactly where I got that picture from,TCC. Feel free to steal it from me!



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