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Gifts Of Perfection!

January 6, 2010

I know that Christmas was a few weeks ago and everyone has moved on to focus on the new year,but I got a couple of presents this Christmas that I feel deserve blog recognition. These gifts are extremely precious to me, because not only do they show the purchaser put in a lot of time and thought into picking it out,but also because I finally got two items that I have always wanted for my very own.
This first “gift” came from an unlikely source,one that I was sure I hid my freaky side from. So you can just imagine my surprise when my mother in law took me aside Christmas eve and said ” I know we told everyone that we weren’t going to buy gifts this year,but when I saw this ,I thought of you and had to buy it.” Delighted and puzzled by her thoughtfulness I unwrapped the gift with rocket speed. The wrapping paper hadn’t even had time to hit the floor before my eyes beheld the most beautiful porcelain cock right in my hands. Misreading my delight for horror,she turned to me and said ” Now if you don’t like it, you can always re-gift it “,to which I replied ” NO WAY ! Are you kidding me, I love it, and beside there is always room for more cock in everyone’s life!” and I meant it.
Driving home that night with my new cock nestled gently in my lap, I was certain I had just received the best gift ever, and one that just really sings out I would be perfect for Thinkinfyou.  I truly thought Christmas was going to be all down hill from there, at least present wise ,surely, no one could outdo my mother in law’s cockerific gift. So when my sister came bearing gifts on Christmas day, I unwrapped her present halfheartedly expecting a last minute gift set to be hiding underneath the paper,but I was way off.  What was wrapped in that shiny Santa Claus wrapping paper was the gift that keeps on giving , a petri dish with three adorable stuffed Herpes in it. I looked at her with joyful tears in my eyes and cried “How did you know?” But before she could answer ,I hugged her tight and said, “I never thought there would be a day that my sister would give me herpes.Thank you, for thinking of me!” to which she just smiled and said ” I knew you of all people, would really enjoy stuffed Herpes.” and she was right. I mean, what really says I love you more a case of Herpes? I’ll tell you now, nothing does. It really is the most thoughtful and considerate gift you could give anyone,and one that they will never forget….I know I won’t!And now I’m just keeping my fingers crossed, that maybe I’ll receive a case of Chlamydia for my birthday…a girl can dream can’t she!?!

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28 comments

  1. Perfect! First you got the cock and then herpes. Of course! That’s the way it works. I must say too that your mother-in-law’s cock is bigger than mine.


    • If you do it right,RedRaider,that’s the order they come in. As for the size of her cock, I was quite impressed myself!


  2. Herpes, that’s the gift that keeps on giving.
    Are you going to share your herpes with the rest of your family, or are you keeping them to yourself?


    • Of course I’m going to share,FS. What good is an STD if you don’t share!?!


  3. Oh my. I’d better keep an eye out for any re-gifiting from you in the near future.


    • Oh, believe me,Nonamedufus,there won’t be any re-gifting of these treasures!


  4. Now I’m thinking crabs …… this is how the Three Wise men should have thought …….


    • Exactly,DP! Because herpes is a lot less expensive than gold and you can give it to whomever you want plus still have some yourself. It really is a win win gift!



  5. Well, at least if the 3 Wise Men remember their myrrh they might be all right… luckily its an antiseptic. 😉

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrrh#Modern_usage


    • I did not know that,Nanc. Good to know,good to know!


  6. Now that is a hell of a cock you got there.


    • Isn’t it,Peach Tart!?!


  7. I see from the picture that you clearly know how to hold a cock!


    • I quite the amateur cock wrangler,VE.


  8. Sometimes, it’s better to receive than to give.


    • I totally agree,The Jules!


  9. OK, if I got a cock for Christmas, I’d be showing it off too. 🙂


    • It’s just the right thing to do,Margaret!


  10. damn it…now I can never give you the gift of a cock. my dreams are shattered


    • Sorry to shatter you dreams,Waltsense,but I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there that would enjoy your gift of cock!


  11. Lucky!

    All I got for Christmas was an ass:
    http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/879/donkey20oatie20image167.jpg


    • Awwww! I know what I’m asking for next Christmas. What a cute ass,Static!!


      • You like my ass, do you?


      • It’s a very fine ass indeed!


      • Would you like to touch it?


      • NO! It looks like it might bite!!


      • Only when it’s hungry…generally, it just nibbles.


      • That doesn’t make it sound much better!



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