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Beating A Birthday

October 14, 2009

Pssst! Hey,over here!

bushhide2

Now I know you might be wondering why the hell is Thinkinfyou hiding behind a damn bush. Well,if you must know it’s October 14th,and we all remember what happened last year.
This year I’m not taking any chances of having my abusive birthday fuck with me again. Now I know what you are thinking, people and birthdays can change, and to that I say, you don’t know my birthday. Put it this way, I can tell it hasn’t changed since waking up Monday morning and finding that it has sent me an early birthday present. Fucker got together with Mother Nature and decided it would be fun to make me cramp and bleed enough to be able to give everyone in a third world country a transfusion. Bastard!  I’m sure it got wind that I was going to spend its day at the beach and decided to make me have to change my plans.  Asshole knows I have a thing against chumming the waters for sharks. So no beach going for me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let October 14th win. No way!I’m going to beat it no matter what, even if that means having to hide behind this bush until the 15th, I’ll do it!

Now if only this fucking dog would stop trying to sniff and hump me I’d be fine. UGH! Wish me luck,but not a happy birthday!bushhidefartherunderbush

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37 comments

  1. TMI

    And I’ll be thinkingfyou tomorrow. 😉


    • Sorry about that,Marsha. It’s the truth and well,trust me this truth is hurting me more than you.


      • You do realize that now that you’ve posted this, all of your female readers periods will sync and we’re all going to have PMS at the same time.

        You should probably post a schedule for your male readers in advance… so they know exactly when to STFU. 😉

        And I’m not going to wish you a Happy Birthday. (Only ‘cuz it’s National Grouch Day and not because you said not to.)


      • I’m notorious for aligning with friends cycles,Marsha. When does yours….nevermind!


  2. Heyyyy, happy getting one year older day. Sorry about the predicament thingy.


    • Thank you,Nonamedufus!


  3. I’m sending chocolate and a noose for Aunt Flo.

    Have a good one!


    • Yum,chocolate! Thanks so much,Reforming Geek. I needed that!


  4. Let me get this straight: I got dumped for my birthday present, and Mother Nature “dumped” on yours??

    Move over..I’m hiding in that bush next year!


    • Birthdays suck,Nipsy! That why I hide from mine!


  5. Shit..your site ate my HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELLOW LIBRA part of my comment.. spit it back out woman!!


    • The blog is hungry. I don’t feed it enough.


  6. Bad news: You can hide, but your birthday will find you. And the next one, and the one after that and the one after that, until finally your birthday gets bored of your aging ass and stops coming around at all. And that’s a really bad day.


    • I believe it’s trying to kill me anyways,Mike.


  7. Happy (un) Birthday sweetie! I bleed for what you must be going through (namely tampax)…:)


    • Actually it’s Playtex,SG!


  8. Happy Birthday! I dont need that bush anymore!


    • Why is that,Noe Noe?


  9. Dog rape is an unsuccessful birthday? In my neck of the woods, that’s the icing on the cake!
    Happy birthday, gorgeous! Don’t be shark bait, we’d all miss you too much. 🙂


    • Do you ever think of moving then,Sorcia?


      • What, and miss all the dog rape?!


      • I guess you’re right,it is kind of special!


  10. Happy BDAY Hottie – Team Waltsense favorite bad-ass girlfriend !


    • Thank you,Waltsense!


  11. I’d be mentally maimed for life if it weren’t for the fact that my patients already share far worse.


    • Are you accepting new patients,Dr. Grumpy?


  12. Happy you know what day! Best of luck!

    And remember, it could be worse. You could be my age.


    • Thank you,Joel…I think.


  13. Glad you informed me of your schedule. Now I’ll know when to plan my attack! Unless those male dogs keep following you around.


    • Oh don’t even try it,Red. Whether I’m PMSing or not, I’m one bad ass bitch!


  14. Well I can’t wish you a happy anything, so I figured I’ll give you a gift, no it’s not adoption papers or anything like that, but I know you are going to love this, I just hope you haven’t seen it before. It takes 40 seconds or so to get going, so don’t judge too quickly. Enjoy, and Happy Birthday Usher and Ralph Lauren!


    • Sorry, I only wanted to post the link. I don’t know why it embedded itself like that.


    • FS, you made my day! I adore Borat!!!


  15. Happy birthday.

    I got you an enormous pad!


    • Awwww! Thank you,The Jules! How thoughtful of you!


  16. I thought the “chocolate and a noose for Aunt Flo” comment was pretty darn funny!


    • Me too, TCC!



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