Things That Go Bump In The Night

August 4, 2009

Do you remember the first scary movie you ever saw? I do.  It was Friday the 13th of May in 1983 and my parents decided to go out for the night. They left us in the care of a new babysitter who I accredit to being one of the many people to corrupt my young mind and turn me into the scaredy cat I am today. She looked normal enough at first sight smiling, playing,and acting like she liked us while my parents were still home. So by the time my parents left, I’m sure they thought they were leaving us with the American version of Mary Poppins,but little did they know that this Mary impostor wasn’t going to spend the evening singing songs with us about sugar or words we couldn’t spell,no she had more sadistic plans in mind.

For no sooner than when the  parentals pulled out of the driveway, she grabbed her purse and pull out the evening’s entertainment… a rented copy of Friday The 13th. Now I had no idea what this movie was about but from the nervous/excited energy I could feel radiating from her and my older sister, I knew I had to see it. At first they tried the whole thing of ” No you’re not old enough! Plus you’ll tell on us!”, which was pure bullshit. I was a very good secret keeper,especially when I got something out of it,and being able to stay up late ,and being included in their secret screening was just what I thought I wanted. So I begged and pleaded and convinced the hell out of them that nothing scared me because I had a much higher maturity level than your average 10 year old,and it worked.

We put the littler kids to bed early and turn on the movie at about 9:15. By 9:45 my heart was pumping out of my chest as my eyes stayed glued to the screen. I couldn’t hide my eyes or jump at the scary parts for fear that they would see I was scared,question my maturity and put me to bed. There was no way that could happen not before I made it to the happy ending,that never came. The movie ended with most of the cast hacked to pieces ,and the words “Ch,Ch,Ch,Ah,Ah,Ah,Kill, Kill ,Kill’ embedded in my head. I didn’t get a sound night’s sleep for the next month because if it wasn’t Jason’s lullaby repeating over and over in my head, the threats  of  a severe beat down if I told from my older sister would fill my thoughts,and both left me trembling.With good reason too, considering six months earlier a dead on right hook from her helped remove my two front teeth.  I knew from experience that bitch wasn’t playing. So I stayed quiet,and a month later they both went silent too.

The memory as you can tell though did leave me scarred. So when I had my own children and they would see that a cool new scary movie came out ,and beg and plead with me trying to convince me that their maturity level was way up over mine just so they could partake in a night of cinema carnage, I didn’t buy into it too quickly. I would just let my husband view the film and if he thought they could handle it then he could sit down and watch it with them,and tell them to hide their eyes if  something too scary was about to happen. This system worked well for both my older daughters. They love scary movies,and don’t seem the least bit bothered when it comes time to go to sleep at night.

My son though I learned lately is a different story. He might have gotten his penis from his father but he most certainly got his  chicken side  from me. He’s a boy and like any normal boy, he likes to act like nothing scares him. He’s eleven and you know eleven (at least in his eyes) is almost grown. A couple of weeks ago, he was rummaging through our collection of movies and asked if he could watch ‘The Shining.” At first I said ,”No I don’t think you are old enough”,and it was like a weird case of Deja Vu. He started acting just like I did that Friday the 13th when I was ten,trying to convince me that he was ready to watch a scary movie. Saying, “Come on Mom I know that stuff isn’t real. Besides its got Jack Nicholson in it and I see him on the side lines at every Lakers game, how scary can it be?”

Well I bought into it and even sat down and watch it with him, making sure to look at his face numerous times during to see if I could spot any fear,but he showed none. So I thought I was home free when it came time to tuck him into bed that night. I went in kiss him and when I turned around to leave , I heard him say ” Red Rum, Red Rum” and laugh.  Relieved I went to bed myself, only to be woken up at 2:30 by a whisper of my name and a eleven year old shadow in the dark. He scared the shit out of me,but after scanning for his hands and finding them axe less , I asked him what was wrong. He went on to say that he wasn’t feeling good and could he sleep on my floor that night. I OKed his request and thought nothing more about it. Until the next day I went into his room and found him building a contraption out of a box of rubber bands. I quickly asked what he was doing and he proceeded to come clean saying that the movie did leave him feeling uneasy ,but instead of  bothering his parents and camping out on their  bedroom floor that he decided to take matter into his own hands and build something that would make him sleep easier at night. Instantly I thought oh how thoughtful and creative of him,and let him go back to work on his project.

I didn’t think much more of  his masterminding plans,until I was woken up a couple nights later  in the middle of the night by my overactive bladder that wouldn’t take no for an answer.  I got out of bed and make my normal trek down the hall ,but something caught my foot and I tripped. Confused ,sleepy, with bruised knees and ready to pee myself, I fumbled around  wondering what the hell was going on. Did  a snake get into the house in the middle of the night ,and I just stepped on it!?!? I started freaking myself out. I was afraid that there was a snake coiled up somewhere waiting to strike me if I got back up.So I sat there on the floor and hollered to my husband to come quick waking up half the house in the process. Once the light came on,they found me sitting there scared out of my mind with a thick rope of rubber bands laced together running down the hallway and attached  to my bedroom door handle . I got up and limped down the hallway only to find the other end nestled snuggly in my son’s grip. Pissed off and about to piss down my leg, I woke him out of his sound slumber and asked, well screamed at him to tell me what the hell this rubber snake /band rope was all about. He looked at me matter of factly and said “Well I just thought that  if I woke up and got scared in the middle of the night I could just pull on the rope and it would slam your door shut,and then you’d know that I needed  you to come here. “And here I thought he was thoughtful! I really wanted to stay in there and give him an earful but my bladder had other plans,so I told him to get up and dismantle his weapon of motherly destruction and not to worry about Jack Nicholson coming to our house at odd hours to ax open his door and yell “Here’s Johnny” no instead he    better be listening for “Here’s Mommy!”mommy shining

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  1. The shining was so NOT scary.

    How could Jack be scary?

    He can’t.

    The end.

    • I don’t think it was Jack,Spaz. I think it was the dead little girls that showed up everywhere,or maybe it was the woman Jack was kissing that turned into a corpse.

  2. That’s a pretty smart son you got there.

    • Yeah he’s smart,Peach Tart,but sometimes his smarts could kill his mother.

  3. First of all, it still looks as though your heart is trying to pound out of your chest. Secondly, smart kid with the rubber bands. I was in my twenties when I saw The Shining and I thought it boring and funny. Had I been eleven I probably would have loaded my dad’s shotgun instead of taken the time to make a rubber band rope. You’re lucky.

    • LOL! Don, I guess you’re right things could have been worse.

  4. At least they’re watching OLD scary movies. Some of the newer ones are disturbing on a whole different level entirely.

    Here’s Mommy!

    Now THAT’S terrifying!

    • Yeah, Chris, the scary movies now are so much more graphic,and disturbing.

  5. 1989 Nightmare on Elm Street My friends 10th birthday party. His older sister did the old take movie A out of box and put movie B in A’s box. We never got scared, we did however rewind the naked chick in the water bed scene 20 or so times. In regrds to your son, I think you should be glad he put his effort into a warning device and not a booby-trap.

    • Rewinding to the naked chick,FS, doesn’t surprise me with you. I had a feeling you were a perv early on in your life.

  6. I’ve always loved scary movies. One of the best of recent times has to be ‘The Blair Witch Project’, that quirky filming technique makes it all seem so believable, i’m NEVER going camping in those woods!

    • Believe it or not,Gitwizard, I have never seen “The Blair Witch Project.” I still get freaked out to this day watching scary movies.

  7. I found Bambi scary …… I don’t really want to talk about it actually ….. I’m welling up here already and starting to shake ……

    • So sorry,DP, for bring up bad memories. Damn those hunters for killing Bambi’s mother!


    Sorry for laughing so hard, but that has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read today! The first scarry movie I remember seeing was “V”. Very similar situation to yours actually, only it didn’t scar me for life, it piqued my interest in scary movies completely. The similarity is in the fact that I was 10 when I watched it and my parents had left for the evening. Another difference was that it was a late movie on t.v. and we had no babysitter other than my older sister. She didn’t think I was old enough to watch either, but I convinced her otherwise. She and my older brother were the ones freaked over the movie while I and my younger sister had a great time scaring the ever-living-daylights out of them for the next week. They ended up doing the tattling to our parents about having watched a scary movie when we were specifically told not to … lol

    • Skye, I never seen “V” nor never heard of it. Thank you for the warning though so I can turn the channel if it come on. People still like to mess with me when it comes to scary movies. Thanks for the comment!

  9. Jaws – when the decomposing head pops out of the boat.

    I fell off the sofa.

    That was my cinematic horror cherry popping moment.

    • Oh, I remember that,The Jules. That was a creepy movie too!

  10. LOL…see, I told you your kids were geniuses. I never would have thought of anything like that.

    The first scary movie I can remember seeing was Nightmare on Elm Street. I remember my grandfather telling me I was too little (I think I was 6 or 7…), but of course, I didn’t want to hear it. The only part of that movie that sticks with me is when one of the kids was sleeping in class and had a nightmare of his girlfriend being killed by Freddy Kruger and being dragged down the hallway in a plastic bag with blood trailing behind him. That one scene stuck in my head for YEARS.

    Another one I recall was Stephen King’s “Dreamcatcher”. I was about 4 months pregnant with the twins when I saw it, and for months I could not use the toilet without checking it to make sure nothing was in there that would crawl up my ass or vag and take over my body and kill me in the process. Oh, and the vivid dreams that pregnant women have? Oh, I had them. And they were very interesting, indeed!

    • Oh I remember “Nightmare on Elm Street” all too well,Zan. That whole ” One,two,Freddy’s coming for you” was stuck in my head for a long time. As for “Dreamcatcher” I’ve never seen it,but it makes me wonder if Steven King has a thing for scary people out of the bathroom. Because I can remember I tried to read the book “It” once and the clown comes up through the bathtub drain. I stopped reading the book at that point,and couldn’t take a bath for weeks….and I was 32. LOL!

  11. I used to LOVE scary movies, but not so much anymore…especially the newer, more creepy ones. I do like a good ghost story though. Isn’t it funny how you get to re-live your experiences through your kids…lol

    • The newer ones leave nothing to the imagination,Winky Twinky,which I don’t know if that better or worse considering my imagination can be overactive at times.

  12. Sleeping on the floor brings back memories to me…I would sneak into my sisters room and sleep on her floor after watching the creepiest commerical on starving skeleton kids in Africa that someone thought we needed to see – My mom informed a 6 year me that No those kids could’t be saved with their bloated belly’s they were DYING but we needed to see it to prevent any future starving kids (WE’ve done great so far haven’t we?) anywy, the commerical had a realy creepy drum beat and went on forever. I thoughtof that commerical for weeks after that and would sneak into my 4 year old sisters room and sleep on her floor – she didn;t like that and would kick me out (i think she knew that whatever was after me would get her too and didn;t want to take any chances) so i would go sleep in the hall, then later my dad’s creepy old dog would come by and brush me with his furr just as i was about to sleep…Thanks TFU for helping me relive that wonderful memory of childhoood….LOL

    • Oops! Sorry about that ,SG. Was that commercial before they made it worse by adding Sally Struthers crying in it? She use to creep me out!

  13. actually, i used to think that everytime sally struthers appeared on the commercial it was called Eat the Children…..but she was better than those skeltal bloated bodies…LO

    • Oh I didn’t think so ,SG. I always though that I could take the little kids,but Sally Struthers could eat me in one bite!

  14. Its not a visual that is beneficial, is it?

    • Only beneficial for scaring the hell out of me!

  15. I used to love scary movies- guess my fear factor has gone to shit! My Little T likes to think he is bad by watching a scary movie—-then he winds up scared shitless for a week and in my bed! O the joys of scary movies, and motherhood!

    • Isn’t that the truth,Noe! Maybe that’s where your scare factor went,because now you know if you watch one you’ll end up with an extra bed partner for a week.

  16. My 11 year old has been watching scary movies forever. She has no problems sleeping but, if I walk toward her with my arms outstretched and moan like a zombie she freaks out.Of course I laugh my ass off at her. My first really really scary movie that scared the piss out of me was The Exorcist! To this day I will watch any scary movie but that one. Zombies are not real but I think the devil IS!

    • Oh I believe the devil is real too,Ettarose. In fact I’ve been called Satan a time or two myself!

  17. Oh I feel your pain. My daughter at 12 is obsessed with scary movies, its a constant fight. My 10 year old son refuses to watch anything scary. Its still a toss up for my 7 year old son…

    As for me, well as long as there’s a pillow for my eyes handy, I’m good to go. 🙂

    • A pillow doesn’t work for me,Nipsy, the sounds are sometimes worse than the sight!

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