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HBDC Summer Camp Campfire Stories!

July 29, 2009

Today is Campfire Story Day at HBDC Summer Camp,and the amazing Spaz is the camp counselor in charge . You have to stop by his blog and read his campfire story to end all campfire stories…it’s just that good,and probably so true if we all were to get together. Well except the part about my breasts…he totally made that shit up!

I myself couldn’t come up with one scary story idea of my own,seeing that I haven’t thought of scary campfire stories since I was a kid. So I decided why not ask my own children to tell me their best scary stories and I’d post their stories instead.  It seems like a brilliant idea,until they started storytelling. Here take a listen…..

There once was an old lady who lived in the forest,and she had a dog named Skippy. One evening when she woke up from a nap,she sat by the fire and turned on her radio.All of the sudden she heard that a psycho escaped from the nut house. She was fucking frightened (he got his mouth washed out for that),but reached out to let Skippy lick her hand for comfort. She looked back at the fire,and saw Skippy nestled near it,but something was still leaving her fingers wet. THE END, or is it!?!

Once upon a time in a castle far far away lived a princess who no one wanted to marry. She hardly ever left the castle,and people around had all sorts of rumors about her. Some said she was dead,others said she had four arms. But the truth was,she had sex with a unicorn and contracted AIDS. The End!

Once upon a time there was a little girl,and she went walking through the woods when her parents warned her not to. She always had a fascination with the color brown,and so she went up to a pretty brown tree and hugged it. She decided to keep walking. Then she came upon a squirrel,and sat on it. Getting up from the squirrel she smelled a aroma outside of a cave. She went to investigate and noticed the smell was coming from a pile of what appeared to be play dough. She sat down to play with it and squeezed it through her fingers,and licked a little too! It got late so she laid down and slept on the cave floor. When she woke up ,Ha Ha she never did because she got a tape worm from eating poop that she thought was play dough. The tape worm ate through her stomach,and a bear finished off the rest of her.And on her tombstone they wrote ,”Only You Can Prevent Tape Worms.”  The End!
NOTE TO SELF: NEVER LET THE KIDS GO TO SUMMER CAMP!

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22 comments

  1. Wait. I thought your kids were geniuses? These are the kinds of campfire stories geniuses tell?

    I call bull shit. 🙂


    • LOL! Marsha, the line between genius and insanity is very thin!


  2. so hows skippy? what happened to skippy ??? now im not going to be able to sleep tonight


    • Don’t worry,Nooter. I think Skippy survived!


  3. I think the unicorn story was quite a cautionary tale…NEVER F*** with unicorns!!


    • I believe each story carries a definite lesson,Winky Twinky. I’m glad you took some words of wisdom away from them.


  4. you/your kids are hilarious. Just my kind of camp fire stories.


    • Thanks,Ettarose. They are my kind of stories too!


  5. I checked Spaz out. I mean I checked Spaz’ campfire story out-better. Typical Spaz. Funny as hell.
    What’s with the poop story? Sounds like one of mine. I love that kid!


    • I agree,Red,Spaz did an awesome job! Can’t wait to see what you come up with for tomorrow’s Camp Survival Day.
      As for the poop story, I would think everyone loves a good poop story. I tend to love that kid too!


  6. Whoa! That was…um….special. I think I’ll stay on the trail while in the forest and will avoid frolicking with unicorns.

    Good job!


    • That’s probably a really smart idea,Reforming Geek!


  7. Whooo hooo…I made it back in time for campfire stories..although.. I’ve never been the same since I begged my grandmother one summer to go to a camp that WASN’T a church based camp. Do you know how she changed my mind? She made me watch the movie “Sleepaway Camp”. I never asked to go to camp again…

    You’re children so have your twisted sense of humor…nice to know we pass the best of ourselves on isn’t it? 🙂


    • NIPSTER!!! You’re back!!! I’ve missed you!!!! Hope all is well with you and yours!
      Thanks for the comment and yes, I’m afraid they all got the my twisted genes!!


  8. Just to make something perfectly clear, I was the one who said the princess had four arms, there, and I wasn’t going to comment and screw up your concentration I mean summer camp. I just can’t stay away.


    • I think you wish this was a concentration camp,FS. I know how you’re into that sort of thing!


  9. Ahh…campfire stories with a splash of nursery rhyme, fairy tale, and TMI…awesome! Your kids ARE geniuses! 🙂


    • LOL! Thank you ,Zan!


  10. This is not helping!


    • I’m sorry,Noe.


  11. Ok, the first story actually gave me chills. That thing that looks like DOODOO with sprinkles in it at the end of your post – it’s not DOODOO right? IT’s a camp craft project attempt gone horribly wrong masquerading as DOODOO for your story, right? The reason i’m asking is – I ate something that looked exactly like that for lunch today


    • Uh,SG,that is bear poop! So tell me, what does bear poop taste like?



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