How To Make Love

June 12, 2009

Have I ever told you,that I’m a sucker for a good love story? You know, the whole thing of how people met,felt the connection,decided that it was something that they couldn’t bear to live without,and took the plunge into the unknown waters of love….I love that shit. I could sit for hours and listen to how people found their special someone.They leave me teary eyed every time,except when it comes to my turn to reciprocate and explain how my own “love connection” came to be.Honestly,twenty years later, I still find myself perplexed on how the hell the whole thing didn’t turn into a recipe for disaster,when it had all the ingredients,a guy with a terminal case of wanderlust,a girl who was missing common sense and virginity,mix in LOTS of cheap motels, even cheaper liquor,and throw in some farm animals for good measure. Suck that shit down and you’ll find yourself years later still filled with amorous but confused feelings on how the concoction is still working today.Trust me, it’s really strong stuff, stronger than a whole bottle of ruffies, and twice as dangerous.

Now you might be wondering, why the hell is Thinkinfyou telling us this story now? Valentine’s day is long gone,and besides, she doesn’t seem to be the most romance blogger on the internet. All that might be true, but I’m here to tell you that there is a huge soft heart underneath my fake but awesome breasts,and I thought I’d let you see it. Well that, and the fact that yesterday was my husband’s 40th birthday, and let me tell you it took a lot of love to get through the day. He spent the entire day denying that being the BIG 4-OH didn’t bother him by acting like a whiny two year old in need of a good ass whooping. And even though there were many times during the day I wanted to bend him over my knee and give him what he was asking for, I didn’t because I’m sweet like that. I just continued to be my festive, “It’s your birthday so I can’t hurt you” self,and tried to make good out of a near impossible situation. As the day lingered on, and his mood didn’t change, I decided that it was time to pull out the birthday cake, and kept my fingers crossed that maybe a sugar high would alter his demeanor. As he sat down to eat the cake, I chose the seat across from him to sit down and wait to see if the sugar would bring out any sweetness. And as I sat there waiting and contemplating on whether it was time to trade him in for two twenties, my mind drifted back to the genesis of our relationship.

Now,I knew my husband for years before our souls and bodies joined. We had always ran with the same circle of friends, and even double dated a couple times with different partners. I always knew when I was around him that I’d end up laughing and having a good time I wouldn’t remember much of in the morning,but in those days that’s all I was looking for. So in the summer of 89′, when our best friends started dating, I didn’t think anything of hearts and fireworks would happen when I got to hang out with him more. Then one weekend my best friend’s parents went out of town and we all decided to party and crash in the parent free zone, and that night, the magic happened. Yes, by midnight our best friends opted to get a little frisky with one another and left us alone and wondering what we should do to fill up the time till the sun came up. It didn’t take long till both of us were thinking about having fun with a little pussy…the feline kind to be exact. You see, we both grew up in a small town in Central Florida that Bob Barker’s message of spaying and neutering your pets didn’t reach, so needless to say the population of stray cats was abundant,and I felt it was my mission to find them a new home.

Now normally when I would tell people of this desire that made my soul ache, they would give me the whole “you’re going to hell” look and walk away, but not my hubby, no he just handed me the keys to his car, and I think my heart skipped a beat. An hour into operation “Here Kitty,Kitty,Kitty” he was blood-soaked from his job of Captain Kitty Capturer, that I, the supervisor of the operation, gave him. I remember laughing till almost peeing myself watching him wrestle the poor creatures into the back of his Suzuki Samurai. I was starting to swoon. Three hours and fifteen cats later our vehicle was filled to uncomfortable cat capacity, but for some reason the sounds of hissing,and meowing was like a love song. I’d been hit by Cupid’s arrow. It was at that point that I told him that I felt it was time to empty our pussy wagon into a friend of his, but enemy of mines, apartment. I told him it was my way of making amends with his asshat of a friend by giving him the only kind of pussy that he’d ever get close to, and he agreed. Right then and there I knew I could spend all of eternity with this man. We filled that apartment from the bathroom to the kitchen with kitty galore.

The next day, Bubba the friend/enemy asshat called and wasn’t too thrilled with his new house guests. I believe a few choice words were shared between the two of us, and shortly after that phone call I hatched up a new plan to spend time with the man of my schemes and make Bubba sorry for being such an ungrateful cock to me. I let my hubby in on my thoughts and again he was game. So that night we teamed up and raided a chicken coop at a local farm in town. We got out of there with two roosters and the peck marks to prove it, made a quick stop at the drug store for some Ex-lax for our constipated cocks, and introduced our fine feathered friends to the cat filled apartment, and waited with anticipation for a phone call from Bubba that came before I could get the chicken shit off my shoes.

Surprisingly enough ,Bubba still wasn’t grateful. Some people I guess will never see the humor, but in those couple of days, I saw more than just the humor in my husband. I saw that he GOT me, and was willing to go to any lengths to make me laugh, not to mention the way he handled those pussy cats and his cock was enough to make any woman want to take him off the market, so I did.



  1. I Love you TFU!!! It's the tender side of someone that makes the desire flow – little things – human things – thanks for making my mascara run, i had it on PERFECTLY!!!

    PS – Cute couple!!

  2. I love you too,Surveygirl! I hope I didn't offend you with this post….watch PETA come after me now!!

  3. AWWWWWWWWWW…..I ran out of tissues…. (hic)… I hope Disney picks up this for the next happily ever after saga……. πŸ˜‰

  4. LOL! Winky Twinky,a girl can dream,can't she!?!

  5. Always Chica!!!!! And never stop!!

  6. No you didn't offend me well…except….I THINK I noticed a cat turd lying loose in that pile 'o kitty you had there. But if you SWEAR it will never happen again, I think I can be persuaded THIS time to leave Google out of it LOL

  7. That's a promise,Surveygirl!! No kitty shit ever again!!

  8. LOL at "man of my schemes"

    You can't beat a romance based on chicken and cat incarceration. It's practically a law.

  9. You really can't,The Jules. I think more people should try it!

  10. Awwww nothing but true love and a a whole lotta bungee cords could survive a night of pussies and chicken like yours did..

    P.S. I cheated by the way..I saw your title before I read it, so I stubbed my toe really hard so I could claim tears from that and not your post..so there…

  11. OUCH! That had to hurt,Nipster! I hope your toe feels better soon!

  12. Love it! Nice photo of the happy couple too. Wow, you'd definitely be on my list of people to be friends with (as opposed to finding my house a barn when I got home…)

    Tenacious, are we? }:-D

  13. I'm not that mean,Bill. I have to be provoked to bring out the farm animals! The guy had it coming to him!

  14. I'm trying to decide if this story's actually true, or if you just wanted an excuse to write cock and pussy without getting another Blogger warning button attached to you.

    Funny shit, though, seriously. Poor Bubba.

  15. This story unfortunately,Chris,is purely factual. We come from a small town with no much to do, except for coming up with warped ideas.

  16. The ultimate love story~What a cute couple you guys make!
    Have a super duper weekend!

  17. Thanks so much,Noe! I hope you have a great weekend too!!

  18. That's some pretty bizarre foreplay. πŸ™‚

  19. Well I try to keep it exciting,Marsha!

  20. He's moaning about being 40!!!! I've been married for over 40 years – that's suffering!!!!! [If the TG happens to pop by, I'll obviously say that this is a spammy comment and deny all knowledge of it]

  21. Oh come on,DP,you know you wouldn't know what to do with yourself without TG!

  22. After two consecutive days of rounding up foul and feline, I can't even really imagine what you guys had to do to up the ante and keep the relationship interesting. That's why I usually make my first dates three hour long staring contests.

  23. After two consecutive days of rounding up foul and feline, I can't even really imagine what you guys had to do to up the ante and keep the relationship interesting. That's why I usually make my first dates three hour long staring contests.

  24. Your poor dates,Shawn. You have to start out with a bang.That way you scare them a little at first,so they stick around to see what's coming next.Trust me,it works!

  25. Hey my friend, just to let ya know there is something wrong with your damn EC button. Every time I click on it, says Invalid User.

  26. I think EC kicked me off their site,Nipsy! Word to the wise….DON'T TALK ABOUT BREASTS ON YOUR BLOG!!! People can't handle it!!

    • TEll them to go suck a nipple!!!

      • Maybe that’s their problem,Surveygirl,they didn’t get enough nipple sucking from their mommas!

  27. I'm a goof..I commented back to you on my own damn blog instead of here..lmaooo

    I checked EC, I can't find you anywhere on there. Dirty bastards..

  28. I wrote it to their support team for an explanation…nothing so far. I really think that if blogger or EC for that matter,has a problem with a blog they should contact the owner before blackballing them.

  29. Just thought I'd mention… the last couple of times I've tried to drop my card I get a "no such user" message? Do they mean me or you? hahaha

  30. It's me,Marsha. I guess they deleted my account!

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