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Oops I Banged Myself!

March 26, 2009

Well I did it again…I went and used myself as my own personal science experiment. And like always, it went totally wrong. Why I’ll never learn to leave well enough alone is beyond me.But here I find myself again like countless times before waiting for the results of my experiment to go… or as in this case, grow back to normal.

See lately I’ve been obsessed with the song “Keeps Getting Better” by Christina Aguilera. I fucking love that song,and I think the song loves me a little too. Because even when I’m not blaring it aloud where everyone in a mile radius of me can hear it,the song keeps it’s tempo in my head .I have to admit I’ve enjoyed the company of a song that is quite catchy and lyrically describes my personality to a tee. Things were really magical between me and “It Keeps Getting Better” until the day I laid eyes on the video. One look at how Christina looks in that video with her blunt cut bangs,and I started craving some banging bangs of my own.



Within minutes, my bang cravings could not be resisted and I found myself in the bathroom, with scissors in hand,hacking away at my hair like Norman’s psycho mother only with much less skill.I was merrily singing,and chopping away as my hair fell into the sink. Thinking the whole time I’d be a sexy bitch in seconds flat. But as the last chunk of my mop hit the drain, my sexy bitch ambitions were replaced by horror when I stood back and gazed in the mirror. The reflection staring back at me with teary eyes didn’t look a thing like a sexy sultry Christina wanna be, but instead bore a striking resemblance to another Aguilera… Daphne Aguilera.

So now I’m stuck looking like a HAGuilera which doesn’t make me feel like it “Keeps Getting Better” but trust me this naughty baby learned that cutting her own hair is a no no!

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50 comments

  1. Whaaaaattt? All the buildup, and that picture shows the end result? It looks awesome, if you ask me.


  2. Yeah,but Shawn,aren’t you the same guy that had that “thing” with that transvestite?


  3. I can’t count how many times I have grabbed the scissors and chopped at my locks, whether it was bangs, or layer, I always managed to screw it up. Your lucky you don’t have the same luck. You look bangin’. 😉


  4. I was expecting like a horror of horrors pic at the end. I don’t think it looks bad. But since you don’t like it, I’ll quote from the never-seen but nonetheless crazy awesome Z-movie “Hair of Dreams”:

    If you don’t cut it, it will grow.

    Wish me luck tomorrow. I’m going to trust a stylist to cut 5 inches off my hair. Yes, you read that right. 5 inches!

    Am I crazy? Possibly. Will I hate it? Probably.

    I’ve had this same basic style for over 6 years though and if I don’t do something drastically different I might buzz it all off in a fit of righteous frustration.

    I’m hoping for fun, flirty, and summery. Let’s hope I don’t end up looking like Nick Nolte’s mug shot. :S


  5. Thanks,Chica! I hate it but it will grow,and I learned from it… to never use scissors at least on myself ever again!!


  6. 5 inches,Jules!?! WOW that’s a lot of hair!!! Not that you need to take advice from a hacker like me,but I say GO FOR IT!! Fun and flirty hair always feels great. You’ll have to let me know how it goes!


  7. 5 inches,Jules!?! WOW that’s a lot of hair!!! Not that you need to take advice from a hacker like me,but I say GO FOR IT!! Fun and flirty hair always feels great. You’ll have to let me know how it goes!


  8. If that’s how you look when you think you don’t look good, you must be devastatingly gorgeous when you think you look good. You look great in that picture. Christina Whatshername has nothing on you.


  9. Oh Joel honey,I love ya,but you really need to get your eyes checked.


  10. “Yeah,but Shawn,aren’t you the same guy that had that “thing” with that transvestite?”

    You make a good point. I also kind of thought Daphne Aguilera was sexy in a weird if-I-was-drunk-enough way, but I didn’t want to say anything.

    Probably should have stuck with that instinct…


  11. I told you before I think you look like Christina Applegate from Married with children. I think the new bangs are very cute. I will say I like you better without though.


  12. First off, I’m taking away all your scissors. Second off, this must be a Norman Bates week. Maybe you sent the thoughts my way, who knows. Oh, I’m also taking away all radios, who knows what song will move you next.


  13. Bangs are awesome and you rock em out with your, er, hair out.


  14. Shawn,I’m glad to see you are being honest….it will set you free! LOL!


  15. Yeah,I like me better without too,Ettarose. :o(


  16. I’m sending them your way,Nipsy! Before I start getting the urge to listen to any old Sinead O’Connor songs!


  17. Bangs are awesome,Sass! Just not on me!


  18. Not bad. I like the ragged look!


  19. I don’t,NNGAQOAT!LOL!


  20. That’s a sure fire way to fuck up an otherwise cute face. Bad, bad girl. Good news? It’ll grow back. No sweat.


  21. WOW! You are great with the ladies,Don!


  22. Should I start worrying about you? – I don’t think so – I’m still experimenting [cocking things up] and I’m a tad older than you. Mind you, I’m still a babe magnet – tee hee

    [actually, you look lovely which is annoying …… obviously]


  23. Should I start worrying about you? – I don’t think so – I’m still experimenting [cocking things up] and I’m a tad older than you. Mind you, I’m still a babe magnet – tee hee

    [actually, you look lovely which is annoying …… obviously]


  24. Annoying,DP!?! That surprises me coming from a babe magnet like you!


  25. You really do look cute!

    Plus hair always grows faster once it is cut That’s what I like to think, I once cut mine very very short and it really WAS a disaster 🙂


  26. Thinkinfyou, will you please stop all this?
    I don’t have a TV, you’ve got me addicted to YouTube now !


  27. Hahaha – been there – done that! Too bad I never look as good as you do in that photo as the end result! YOU ROCK!

    D


  28. Thank you,Lidian! I think all women have made that mistake before.If not,they will!!


  29. You DON’T have a TV,Gitwizard!?! WOW! Well I guess you don’t need one anymore if you have a computer!


  30. I was sooooo gonna leave a ruthless yet funny comment… but I guess compassion got the best of me. 😉

    Anyway… you could look worse… :ewink:


  31. Oh come on,LL,you know I wouldn’t expect anything less from you!


  32. Love reading your comments all over the place BTW. And it’s not a disaster, you still look gorgeous.


  33. I always get a magical feeling and bang myself when I think of X-tina.

    There was only one of your pics that showed up in your post, and judging from that it could be a lot worse. If it bothers ya that much you could always have a bit of layering to blend it in a bit more..by a professional hairdresser this time of course. =)

    Naturally, you really have to have a face for bangs like that. From what I can tell, you do.

    X-tina also has a face that is framed well by bangs (when she styles it well.) Bettie Page was another. Rose McGowan, Madonna, Dee-lite, Moe from The Three Stooges..hmm maybe I should try out some bangs too…


  34. You can so pull this off. If I did it – now we’re talking ridiculous. I love that feeling of getting lots of hair cut off. It’s only hair.. and with bangs, you just have to give them a day or two two to “settle” says my inner hairdresser.


  35. I applaud you for getting the idea and carrying it out. Great post and I couldn’t wait to see if you posted a picture as I was reading and scrolling down.


  36. Meh.. Could be worse..

    After all, you could’ve looked like my 3 year old did after she found out that scissors could sut hair..

    Yeah, she’s 7 now, and it’s all nearly grown back..

    Loved the post!


  37. I love your bangs in the photograph. You’re looking mighty fine ma’am.
    It suits you.

    I think that you just don’t feel good cause it wasn’t professionally done so you don’t have that Fiesty comfort that they usually give in a saloon.

    My stylist told me that cutting the hair angrily professionaly, and happy professionally had an impact on the clients 🙂


  38. I think they look fine, honestly. Though now I’m tempted to do the same thing, which would be really bad. Trust me.


  39. I think they look fine, honestly. Though now I’m tempted to do the same thing, which would be really bad. Trust me.


  40. Thank you so much,Gitwizard!!

    If you give yourself bangs,Static,you’ve gotta take a picture and let me see!!

    LOL!Unfortunately,Margo, I wasn’t blessed with an inner hairdresser like you!

    I think you are the only one that applauded,TCC! I’m still crying!

    Jormengrund,you comparing my cutting skills to a three year old makes sense for some reason.

    Thank you so much,Clarisse!

    Alright,Jerseygirl,you’ll have to let me know how they turn out for you!


  41. Hey, no way am I gonna show off my bangs, baby. Hold on…I’m getting that magical feeling again.


  42. I do not know if others have any difficulty in viewing the video – but here it says – embedding disabled by user. Otherwise, no issue! Agreed Aguilera rocks.


  43. You get that “magical feeling” way to quickly,Static. Maybe you should have a doctor check that out for you!


  44. I can see the videos just fine,Nilz. Hmmm, I wonder what happened?


  45. I think it looks cute…way better job than what I would have done..


  46. Thanks,Dani!


  47. TIP OF THE DAY: Never find yourself in the bathroom hacking with scissors, especially when you’ve ben drinking.


  48. Thanks for the tip,Ian…even though it’s a little late!


  49. I gave you a digg


  50. Thanks so much,Ron Andrew O’Daniels!



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