The Way To My Heart Is Through My Soles

January 12, 2009

Ever since I thought I made my point clear about how I wasn’t going to join in the madness this year of creating/failing at making a New Year’s resolution, I’ve had more people than ever chiming in on what they think I should change this year.What I should change!?! Seems to me like everyone I know decided to becoming a fucking critic and a bad one at that for their New Year’s resolution, which really pisses me off…but I don’t let it show. No I stay my normal sweet yet bitingly sarcastic self and turn to them and say “You don’t fuck with perfection or me”, then I give them a huge fuck you smile and walk away.

It never fails though. Every time I walked away I think to myself, “How come all of these retards are saying the same thing?” I bet they’re talking about me behind my back! Maybe there’s a big “Kill Thinkinfyou’s self esteem” conspiracy in the works this year?” I don’t know, but whatever the reasoning may be I’m thinking people just need to bite me and gag on my flesh. You wanna know what they all say could undergo some change? My attitude! Ugh! Can you believe that? Me,the one with the sparkling wit and killer charm needs an attitude adjustment. They don’t know what they are talking about.All I hear is how I’m never satisfied,that I’m just insatiable.Blah,blah,blah.Like it’s a bad thing. Well I’ll tell you one thing I’m satisfied with ,my attitude….it suits me.
So maybe I’m not the one with the problem,but like always I have the solution.It’s simple really,if people want to see more hearts, flowers,and happiness thrown at them from my direction…buy me a new pair of shoes.
See that’s a look of pure happiness and satisfaction!
For some reason a great pair of shoes always makes me feel like all is well in the world. I don’t know if it’s the added height that makes me see things more optimistically,or because a good pair of four inch heels can be quite the weapon when someone wants to mouth off about my bad attitude.To tell you the truth…it’s a little of both.



  1. Hun, those shoes are AWESOME!

    And to add to your list, heels do wonders for making our calves look like we work out religiously.

  2. They are awesome aren’t they!?! I love them,and can’t tell you how much they did for my mood when I strapped them on,Juliet!!

    So true about the looking like a work out queen too!!!

  3. I wish I could wear pretty shoes like that. Never could. If my feet hurt, I kill people.

  4. Really,Dana? I think I would want to die if I couldn’t wear heels!

  5. Those heels are hot!

    I’m a man and I know a good pair of shoes when I see ’em honey. In fact I often buy great shoes for my wife. How much do you want for those? =)

  6. I’ve an old pair of army boots you could have….

  7. Yeah you wear them now, but when you get a little more seasoned like Dana and I, you would know happy feet are NOT in heels. Cute damn shoes though. By the way, I think you look like Christina Applegate. Too effin cute!

  8. I dont make resolutions anymore but a new pair of shoes??? Oh yeah!

  9. Thanks,Static!! I’m not selling these babies though.

    I’ll skip on the old army boots!Thanks!!

  10. Ettarose,
    I’ve heard that,but I haven’t gotten to the point where I’ve come to terms with that. I’m only 5’2,if I don’t wear heels,people don’t see me!!!

    Me neither,Noe Noe Girl!!

  11. I like shoes and I LOVE your attitude.. if the retard critics can’t take a joke.. fuck em.. but don’t ever change.. even if you get the shoes..laugh at the ignorance and tell them to kiss your ass

  12. Thanks,Dizzblnd!!!

  13. Glad shoes mean something other than simply more footwear to you. My favorite shoes are a worn out pair of dirty Asics with holes in the top. I wear ’em everyday…

  14. That totally explains your bad attitude then,Don!! Do me a favor,go buy yourself a nice pair of heels today and see how much better they make you feel!!!

  15. I wish shoes would make me feel the way they do for you..

    Then my Sneakers wouldn’t be the “work shoes” or my Sketchers feel like my “house” shoes..

    I dunno. To me sneaker and loafer are much more descriptive for me than “Heels” if you get my meaning!

  16. LOL! I gotcha,Jormengrund!!

  17. Two things get me off the hook for being bad. New necklaces, and new shoes. Both ensure I do not receive a stiletto to the crotch, or a “Heel Rocket” as I sometimes call it.

    I learned my first lesson sometime after we were first married, and moving into a new condo. I made a Imelda Marcos crack about her collection, and ended up sitting on an ice pack for 2 days. πŸ™‚

    They are packed, and headed west now. But when unpacked, Selene has shoe trees hanging from 3 different closet doors, and a 24x15x15 box full of them. I know the dimensions, because I saw it written on the box when I was taping it shut. πŸ™‚

  18. LOL!Tim,your wife and I would probably get along great!!
    Oh,and my husband make the same crack about Imelda!That does deserve a kick!!

  19. So last week you attracted web searchers to your blog with masturbation toys and this week you’ll be getting all the people with foot fetishes.

    You’ll be a Google star in no time.

    Fuck New Years resolutions though. What’s the point?

  20. We’ll have to see about that,Sully.

    Where ya been lately?

  21. “I bet they’re talking about me behind my back! Maybe there’s a big “Kill Thinkinfyou’s self esteem” conspiracy in the works this year?”

    Shit you found out about the conspiracy! J/K
    I look at it like this T. I know I was put on this earth to piss people off. So welcome to the club. We meet on Tuesdays and Fridays. πŸ˜‰ BYOB

  22. Cool,Rev.!Tuesday sounds good.Friday though,I already have my Born A Bitch meetings!

  23. the shoes you’re wearing in that picture are FABULOUS. i WANT them.

  24. I know,aren’t they,Ames Plaza! I got them off Ebay!!!

  25. I’m soooooo with you on this!! Shoes = JOY! πŸ˜€

  26. You speak the truth,Chat Blanc!!

  27. Um, yeah. I own a pair of Reeboks.

  28. Just one pair,Humorsmith? I couldn’t imagine!!

  29. As usual I love your post! LOL

    You look marvelous darlin’! πŸ˜‰ HUGS!!

  30. Awww thanks so much,Monica!!

  31. One thing though…

    If I’m talking about you behind your back… aren’t I actually facing you? Think about it…

  32. OK,VE,you just confused the hell out of me!

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