Dissolution of New Year’s Resolution

December 30, 2008

Is it just me,or does it seem like beginning the day after Christmas everyone has to start mouthing off about what their New Year’s resolution is going to be for the upcoming year? How “oh this is the year that they are going to lose all the weight, give up the smokes,or quit masturbating to disturbing animal images”,whatever their vice might be. People,please! What makes you think a flip of a calendar year is just going to magically change the freak that it probably took you years to become? Trust me,being quite a freak myself,I know better,and you should too.

Why we set ourselves up for disappointment January 1st is beyond me,but I’m telling you now,this is a practice, that has got to stop.Sure you might get off to a running start like you do every other year,but you know as well as I do, by mid month most of you will be trying to mask your behavior/failure from your loved ones by either hiding in that pantry woofing down your beloved HoHos,or resort to carrying your closet smoker’s survival kit of chewing gum and perfume with you where ever you go…that really doesn’t fool anyone.Yellow teeth and a smoker’s cough are forever,people. I don’t think I ever need to mention the hell the masturbation freaks have to go through,believe me the neighbors dog will ALWAYS give you that strange/scared look,no matter how long it’s been..Fido remembers.
The point I’m trying to get across people is don’t waste your time preparing for failure,it will find you soon enough. So this new year take some Thinkinfyou advice and don’t make a New Year’s resolution that you won’t even want to talk about by January 23rd,and instead embrace yourself with all your shortcomings and bad habits,they’re what you’ll be remembered for anyways,so OWN them.Besides,who wants to be known as a loser,a quitter,or sexually dissatisfied? Not me.Do you?



  1. well said, well said. my husband recently brought home beef fat. I read “beef fat” right off the ingredients box and he will never eat a hoho again. HoHoHO!

  2. You speak the truth sister. It’s only downhill from Jan 1rst. The neighbors can see you through the windows, the pictures of grandma judge you with a menacing eye. Why fight the inevitable? I was going to put my pants on before typing this but forget it! Now where is that hot picture of that Emu?

  3. Yuck! I never knew beef fat was in a HoHo. I thought it was nothing but sugary goodness! I guess you learn something new everyday. Thanks,Ann!!

  4. Let your freak flag fly,Self Deprechaun!!Nobody will judge you here!!!

  5. Yeah, I agree. New Year’s Resolutions do suck and always fail. People set themselves up for it. For instance, last year my resolution was to not get drunk…that kind of went out the window when I woke up drunk.

  6. Well don’t make that mistake again,Static.Pour that drink,get wasted and BE PROUD!!

  7. Ha! I have only one New Years resolution and it’s been the same for years. Live forever. So far, so good…

  8. I believe that’s more of a delusion,than a resolution,VE.

  9. I actually make resolutions I can keep..

    Like this one:

    I resolve to read your blog a bit more this next year!

    That one’s esy, since I just started reading your blog last month!

    Great post, and keep ’em coming!

    Happy New Year!!

  10. For some reason,Jormengrund,that resolution deserves to be an exception to the rule.
    Thanks so much!!!

  11. I totally embrace my slacker, flawed, nerdy, dysfunctional, sick and twisted side so I totally agree with you! I have too many bad habits to focus on just one anyways. 🙂

    I hope you have a wonderful and happy New Year. And I’m sooooo glad that I found you!!

    Luv Ya!

  12. Me too,Angie!!
    I hope you have an awesome New Year,and I look forward to being even more snarkified by you next year!!!

  13. If you really want a New Year’s Resolution to work, pick things that you already do well. Resolve to do them better. Now, you are working on something you will enjoy.

    This is why I am resolved to getting better at masturbation this year. ‘=)

  14. I think that actually beneath all this silliness, which I am in no way saying that I don’t enjoy because I do, you have a point: Keep the resolutions simple and within reach. Good sound advice. Thanks.

    Oh, first time commenting here. About second time visiting here. Don’t know why I thought I’d mention, but there you go. Adding you to the blogroll and feeder now.

  15. LOL! Marvel Goose,good one! You can’t fail because anything done by your own hand will never let you down!!!

  16. You found the silver lining ,Unfinished Rambler!!

    Thanks for the visit and I’ll do the same!!

  17. My resolution is not to have a resolution, because, as you have kindly reminded us, they suck-and usually are forgotten by February.

  18. That’s a very good idea,Freetheunicorns!!

  19. loves it! i feel free-er already!

  20. Glad I could help,Unfortunate names.

  21. Happy New Year…now where’s the blog post! Sheesh…your last one was way back in 2008!

  22. I thought I would give everyone time to recover from New Years first.

  23. nope.. not a loser, a quitter, or failure will I be, so no more stupid resolutions for me…

    sorry it seems Dr. Suess possessed me and took over for a moment

  24. I love it,Dizzblnd!!
    I’m a major Suess fan!

  25. Thanks! And thank you fro dropping in on my blog!

  26. I enjoyed your blog.I’ll be back!!

  27. “Besides,who wants to be known as a loser,a quitter,or sexually dissatisfied?”

    Just to clarify, it’s hard to be dissatisfied when you whack it to disturbing animal situations. I mean, everybody wins. Happy new year.

  28. You hit the nail on the head,Josh!
    Happy New Year to you too!

  29. Agreed!

  30. Thanks,Rusty!!

  31. I guess that’s why all that Peloop shit is still in my closet.

  32. You just moved though,Tim!! So that doesn’t count!!

  33. […] December 31, 2009 If any of you have been following Thinkinfyou for over a year, you know that I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. No, I see coming up with one as just a way of warning yourself of the new year’s failure […]

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