The Holidays Gall Me

November 30, 2008

While everyone was out this week preparing,and enjoying their Thanksgiving festivities,I’ve been at home bonding/battling with my gall bladder,which makes it very hard to feel thankful. Now for those of you who have never had any trouble with this basically useless organ, you better put that to your list of things to be thankful for,because for a small organ, this little bastard packs quite a nasty punch. The pain it brings, starts right under your ribcage and will leave you feeling like you swallowed a Ginsu Knife set and that’s just the beginning, because the stabbing will continue to travel up through your chest and into your right shoulder,all while bringing on bouts of earth shattering vomiting. Oh, and the doctor said that the only way to fix this problem is to have my gall bladder removed.Woo Hoo!!! Guess who’s going to get a new scar for Christmas?Lucky fu*king ME!!! Sounds like great holiday fun, doesn’t it? Well, it isn’t!
I found the only way to make the pain subside,other than going under the knife is not to eat anything, because if I try to ingest even the smallest morsel,my gall bladder gets angry and wreaks internal havoc for hours on end. Needless to say, it didn’t take long before me and GB came to the understanding that solid food was not permitted to enter any of my orifices anytime in the near future,or at least until it could be removed through one of my new doctor made orifices. Which wasn’t a very fair arrangement for me seeing that Thanksgiving was Thursday,and is the one day of the year you can feast till your hearts content and nobody looks at you like your Sally Struthers trying to eat another one of those little starving African children.Gasp if you want,but you know that’s how she gained all that weight.Don’t let her tears fool you! They must be chocked full of protein,and I think they know it too. You can tell by the look in their eyes when she gets close to them? That’s not a look of hope,that’s a look of fear!
So,it didn’t matter whether the deal was fair or not, I had no other choice than to surrender to my gall bladder’s wishes and give up any hopes of pulling a Sally on Thanksgiving,and tried to come to terms with acting more like a starving African child.Which was quite easy, considering my family is a lot like Sally Struthers, they look like they have good intentions only to end up eating you alive.

But on the bright side, I’m a feisty one,and got through Thanksgiving with only a few bite marks on my arm….I guess that’s something to be thankful for.



  1. Wondering what the hell happened. My sister-in-law (ex) had that operation and said it was absolutely nothing compared to the pain she was in. I think she spent one night in the hospital. Good luck.

  2. Thanks so much,Don.

  3. I’m not a terribly thankful person by nature; thanks for changing that. Good luck!

    Oh, by the way, thanks also for the nutritional information about those starving African children. Times are getting tough. The advice may come in handy.

  4. No problem,Joel. Their labels are kinda hard to read,but hopefully it won’t come to that!!

  5. Awww…I’m sorry sweetie! I know what you are going through. The pain is nothing that I have ever experienced before or since. I was rushed to the emergency room — they thought I was having a heart attack! I had my gall bladder removed a couple of years ago…and good thing is you can’t even see a scar! It’s got to suck to not be able to gorge yourself on Thanksgiving…I’m not sure I could handle that. I hope you get that useless thing out of there soon so you can resume your painless eating habits. Take care sweetie! 🙂

  6. Thanks,Angie!!

  7. Well that officially blows. Thanksgiving is a heaven of gluttony goodness.

    Oh a side note, minus the invasive instruments and visible organs, can I please have the abs of that picture? Ya know, without the exercise and foregoing of sweets?

  8. You know I didn’t even notice the abs in that picture,Jules. That is a thought though,maybe I could convince the doctor while he’s up in there removing the GB, he could do some sculpting on me too. It might just leave me happier in the end.

  9. Sorry to hear ☻ If it makes you feel any better I have shingles for the 5th times this year. Ok..that didn’t work. Well just stay away from greasy, fried food. That helps.

  10. OMG!THH,that’s horrible! Shingles can’t be fun.I hope you get to feeling better soon! Thanks for the advice too!

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