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"Nothing But A Good Time"

October 27, 2008
Well I’ve given up man making,it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. I have to give it to the man upstairs,how he created the whole wide world in exactly seven days is beyond me.I gave myself eighteen days to make just one perfect man as a gift,and I was exhausted by Saturday afternoon.

The fact that I gave up really upset me,because I pride myself on being a good gift giver,and try even harder to be a better friend.So don’t think for a minute that I didn’t put my blood,sweat, and tears into trying to make “Mr.Perfect”…I did.I spent all day Thursday and Friday piecing him together,and for awhile I really thought I was quite gifted in the art of creation,”Mr.Perfect” was really turning out perfectly.I gave him striking blue eyes,a nice head of blonde hair,a great smile,and the most amazing chiseled body that would make your mouth water.Unfortunately Saturday afternoon when I tried to attach his head, it fell from between his shoulders and adhered itself between his legs. After trying to reposition the damn thing fifty times it became very apparent to me his head craved to be cradled in the crotch which only left me with two options; I could either try to convince people that a man’s head between his legs is the new anatomically correct way to rock one’s head ,or give up on man making all together,and come up with a new way to make my friend’s wishes come true.
As I was busy weighing the pros and cons of both options,my phone rang with an angel of mercy on the other end that just happens to be my neighbor and wife of a local DJ here in town too.She was calling to see if I wanted two VIP passes to the Bret Michaels concert that night.Within that call I realized that all hope of making my friend’s birthday wish come true was not lost.You see Bret Michaels isn’t just the lead singer of the group Poison from back in the 80’s ,he is now looking for love on the VH1 reality show “Rock Of Love.” Which got me thinking if I couldn’t be a good man maker,maybe I could be one hell of a match maker….It was at least worth a shot. So I took the tickets and called her up.
Surprisingly enough, it was easy to get her to come out with me that night. All I had to do was mention free drinks and she was ready to go. Of course I didn’t tell her about the match making plans I had in store for her.She would have freaked out.So I thought I would wait until she had a couple drinks in her first.
I am still amazed at what a wonderful distraction alcohol can be. It worked like a charm, enough for me to sneak away and put my plan into action. I vowed before the night was over to have her feeling a whole lot better about things,and not just because she was intoxicated.
So I did everything I could. I scoped the whole place out to see how difficult this feat would be.

And even made a deal with the devil,that if he would help her find love,I promised not to take over…he agreed.

Everything was going according to plan. I was going to wait until Bret was done with his set , introduce them,and wait for the sparks to fly. But when it was time to go meet him and I revealed my plan to her.I found out she had plans of her own. She wanted to meet his blue mohawk wearing drummer,and she did.

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22 comments

  1. Bret Michaels! My numero uno crush! His baby blue eyes and shiny pink lips wound their way into my four year old heart back in the late eighties early nineties.

    Also…the body builders thighs scare me.


  2. Really Bret Michaels,Jules? I was never a big Poison fan,and really didn’t start liking him until “Rock Of Love” came on. That show is like a train wreck that I can’t turn away from.
    He was pretty good in concert,and seemed like a really nice guy.Although I’m sure it’s pretty humbling to play for about 250 people,compared to the days where he use to fill arenas.


  3. “The best laid plans of mice and men” – people just have to do their own thing don’t they!!!! ……. tsk


  4. I think that’s the way it is with everything,DP. You can plan and plan,but if it involves someone else ,it will never turn out exactly how you planned it.


  5. I won’t comment on Bret Michael’s “look”. It seems gay to me to do that. Just a homophobic thing is all. Sorry about your little Dr. Frankenstein experiment failure. Would have been great to see your creation out and about friday night.


  6. I know I was a little bummed about not being a very good man maker myself,Don.
    But she cheered up regardless,and that’s what I wanted!

    What do you mean about Bret Michaels look? You aren’t going to offend me…I’m not a big fan of his. But if the tickets are free and so is the liquor,who wouldn’t go?


  7. T…
    Girl, why didn’t you call me? I would have so been there. I tried to git on that show…100 times.
    Hey, if you can just get that fella’s head oft his crotch, I think we could make him work.
    Eve


  8. It was a last minute thing or I would have called,Eve. Are you addicted to the show too?

    I’m open to any ideas you have about getting his head out of his crotch.Although, I think my friend is getting back with her retard boyfriend.


  9. Satan fears you? Wow. You two looked like you had a really good time.

    I checked the show out one time, guess it’s a girl thing. lol


  10. Yes Satan does fear me,John…..and he should!!

    We had a great time. I’m not a huge fan,but I love music in general ,so anytime I can be around people with the same passion ,it’s a good time!


  11. *shrugs* I was four. He was hot to me then. Looking back, he was hot for the 80’s. Now…he needs to cut his hair and his face hasn’t aged well. …Bon Jovi on the other hand. Time has not been bad to him.


  12. I just want ot know if he has hair under that hat ans bandana? I know he wears hair extension, she said once..LOL!

    BTW..the perfect man does not exist..only in our minds..good thing you gave up.


  13. Looks like you rocked the Birthday gift even if it wasn’t the original plan – looks like you rocked the party too!


  14. I can totally agree with you Jules on Jon Bon Jovi,I think he looks even better with age!


  15. He didn’t perform without a hat on,THH.
    I think he’s tried hair implants.I noticed what looked like hair plugs on “Rock of Love” before.

    And unfortunately I think you’re right about Mr.Perfect only existing in our minds….to bad men don’t have that problem.


  16. Yeah Bill,she had a great time. I have been known to get a little wild myself….that’s why I don’t go out that often!


  17. You have created the perfect man. Any guy will tell you if he can sit on his face, he would never leave the house. šŸ™‚ LOL

    And look at you two hot chicas! The two of you could have had any guy in there! And what about your friend? Any luck with the drummer?


  18. Thanks for the honesty,Erebus. I think a man would give up breathing to be that close to his penis.

    I think the drummer really liked her.She is a very pretty girl.I don’t think she was looking for the drumstick though. She still in love with the ex. It was just nice to see her smile for awhile.


  19. Alcohol is a fantastic distraction! Improves gigs no end.


  20. I’m glad you agree,Chris.


  21. Rock On!!********

    Did Warrant or Poison do Sweet Cherry Pie*

    .38 Special Hold On Loosely + Don’t Let Go!!***********

    ca.youtube.com/watch?v=xMxqPRdR36I

    U see it all around U Good Lovin’ Gone Bad!!

    ;)) Peace*


  22. I think it was Warrant. Poison might have done a cover of it though,Billy Warhol.

    Now .38 Special is more my type of music.Just great Southern Rock.Plus, .38 Special is from my neck of the woods



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