7 Things About Me That I Can’t Get Arrested For

October 18, 2008

I was knocking on the door of the trailer that’s always rockin this morning over at Thats Funny Because.And to my surprise when my good friend Eve,( who’s the head hooker over there) answered the door a little out of breath,which made me wonder what the hell she’d be up to this morning….. you never know with Eve. I didn’t wonder long before she took a swig of her Bloody Mary and explained to me this game she’s playing and wanted me to play along .I listened very closely to the rules of the game,which is a must if you play with Eve, to her, a water balloon fight involves battery acid(she’s just creative that way.)Anyways from what I understand the game goes something like this, you have to tell 7 facts about yourself and then pass that shit off on 7 different people who have to do the same.Basically it’s a game of TMI,and you know as well as she does ,I’m always up for talking about myself. Of course I don’t think there is any way I can beat Eve at this game.Because she’s a fascinating source of wonder, that I can’t help but be envious of. Any woman that can tie a cherry stem with just her tongue,AND take a punch,is someone I can only dream to be like one day.

I decided to play along even though I feel if you read my blog you already know way more personal information about me than my relatives or gynecologist does,so consider yourself fortunate or scarred,I’ll leave that feeling up to you.So here goes 7 random facts of your truly……

1. My family has a warning they give to strangers that are about to come into contact with me without protective glass. They are cautioned that I am a interrogator and will ask tons of embarrassing personal questions before they are allowed feel comfortable in my presence. I don’t see anything wrong with this quality,but my family does. I guess they’ve never heard of being friendly before.

2. I am ambidextrous. Which should mean that I’m overly intelligent because I use both sides of my brain. Unfortunately with me, the left brain and right brain hate each other and the war between the two has made me far from being the sharpest tool in the shed.

3. I’m a hell of a mimic. I can hear someone’s voice and within minutes, impersonate them perfectly,no matter what gender,race,or country they’re from. I’m just awesome that way!

4. I still think that a monster lives under my bed. If I wake up in the middle of the night to pee(which is nightly now that I’m old) I try to jump as far away from the bed as I can,just in case there is something blood thirsty under there,it won’t be able to get me.

5.I’m not a natural blonde…….I’m just a very smart brunette.

6.I’ve been told that I am intimidating which is funny because I’m only 5’2. Although nobody knows how tall I really am because I don’t go anywhere without a pair of 4 inch heels on.

7. I am the newest member over at Humor Bloggers.com. I’m really excited about my membership. I just hope my warped sense of humor transfers into HA! not HUH? Wish me luck, and go check it out if you get a chance.

Now on to the second part of the game, I have to tag 7 people that have to give up 7 unknown facts about themselves that their blog has yet to expose. Here’s the lucky 7……

1. Bill over at I Animate You. The man makes Walt Disney turn in his Cryogenic Chamber with his animations. His life outside the animations is so interesting,it always leaves me wanting to know more.

2. Has to go to Don over at Beyond Left Field,for introducing Eve to me (thank you Don) and for the fact, I know how much he loves talking about himself too!! Have at it Don!!

3.Jules at What A Tragic Comedy .She is just so cute and funny ,but I can’t help but think there’s still some weird facts about her she has yet to divulge. So come on Jules…..inquiring minds want to know!!

4.Erebus over at Dreams In The Dark. Things I know about Erebus.1. He’s in law enforcement. 2.He loves his wife and cat. 3. He has the most bizarre dreams I have ever heard. 4. I believe he likes to cry like a school girl. Other than those I’m clueless. So wipe those tears Erebus and add to my list!!

5.DMLD over at Getting Here From There. I just love D,she’s just the sweetest! I really hope she takes the time to play along. I’m very curious to see what her list will say.

6. Hatter over at Hatter’s World. The only thing I know for sure about Hatter is his love for music runs deeper than anyone I’ve ever met. So I’m outing you Hatter! Tell us more ,hell you can sing the facts if you’d like!!

7.DB over at The Medium Bus,even though I know he won’t play along. He’s being stubborn lately and has decided he doesn’t want to blog right now. Which I think is worse than clubbing baby seals. Do me a favor, go over to his blog and demand that he start writing again. The way I see it,any man that has three testicles has an obligation to tell his story to the masses.



  1. Thanks or including me thinkinfyou, but actually, I did this awhile ago – or very similar, and you even commented LOL!


  2. Yeah but that was 6 things ,this one is 7 things,there’s a difference!! You mean to tell me that you don’t have more than 6 odd things about you that your blog readers don’t know!?! I find that hard to believe.

  3. How is it like being a blonde then 🙂 Do you get more attention?

  4. I have been blonde for almost 10 yrs now,Clarisse,and I don’t think I would ever go back to my natural color again. I think being blonde brings out your face,so yes people notice you more.

  5. Okay, its done and posted, now I’m going out. You owe me a totally scintillating comment for this! lol

  6. Woo Hoo! Thanks Bill!!

  7. Loved and stumbled, Sis! That was perfect. I can’t wait to go holla and these new peeps. Hey, Bill, I will come holla at you too as usual.

  8. Eve,
    You’ve gotta teach me how to stumble.That site confuses the shit out of me!!

  9. thinkinofyou – Spend some time at HumorBloggers now, write an intro on the Introduction Thread, submit a banner, visit some of the other boards and join in!

    Have you downloaded the Stumble toolbar? Makes it very easy to stumble.

  10. Bill,

    I know I need to do all that. I don’t know if I’ll have time today,it’s my son’s birthday.
    How do I create a banner? I’m not very computer savvy :o(

  11. Do you really interrogate people with personal questions? How many questions do you ask them? Do you die your pubic hair too? Have you actually clubbed baby seals? Which would you rather…give birth to the anti-christ or watch your family explode? Do you think the moon is made of cheese? Do you carry a tazer in your four inch heels? Should I remove that monster from under the bed or just continue to pay his salary? Can you impersonate Helen Keller? Do gun owners shop at Target? What exactly is the sharpest tool in your shed?

  12. To answer your questions Ve, let’s see…..yes I do, I ask about 24 to 30 questions depending on how interesting their answers are. I don’t have any carpet…I believe in ceramic tile. No I’ve never clubbed any seals,just people who ask me about dying my pubes. My mother gave birth to the anti-christ. If the moon is made of cheese,it’s got to be swiss. I don’t need to carry a tazer in my heels,my feet are already registered deadly weapons. Continue to pay the monster…he’s doing a hell of a job. Waaaaa tttteeerrr! That right there is dead on Helen!No they are faithful to Wal-Mart. My chainsaw.

  13. OK so i have to leave a comment about the questions! ve, she asks an exuberant amount of questions! except for the first time she met me, she didnt say anything! so uncomfortable! to this day i still warn everyone that i bring into her presence that she is going to ask a million questions! as she says how else are you going to get to know someone! as for the helen keller impersonation, you should hear it! H. whats the name of the dog down the street? LOL! (ah to remember the good ole time on the old back porch!)

  14. The only reason I didn’t say anything to you Becky,is because my brother yelled at me for asking to many questions so to make a statement I didn’t talk to you at all. Which one is better?
    Yes I remember the name of the deaf lady’s dog down the street.No wonder that dog runs away all the time.You would too if your name was aaaaaaaggggnnnnnhhhh!

  15. Working on 7 things right now.

    If your ambidextrous, and for arguments sake found yourself in trouble with…let’s say the mob…which hand would you choose to have chopped off if that were the punishment?

  16. Cool,Erebus!

    As for being ambidextrous,I didn’t know the mob would be so thoughtful and let you choose what hand to cut off.I don’t know which one I would choose. I write with my right hand,but play all sports with my left.I’m not sure,I would probably just join the witness protective program and hide for the rest of my life.

  17. Why don’t you leave an impression of someone on the snapvine recorder on my blog. Can’t think of one to do? How about an Indian?

  18. What is a snapvine recorder,Dr.Zibbs?

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