There Is Nothing To Fear BUT…….

September 11, 2008

Fear is such a strange occurrence that can happen within an instant and can render you powerless. I say that statement with much conviction,because of a deep personal relationship I have with fear. I spend the majority of my life trying to untangle myself from the twisted hold it has over me and I hate it. The fears I have to most would be considered irrational,and I can see that they are. Unfortunately sometimes if caught off guard,my fears can bring me to my knees and leave me begging for mercy.

I try not to think of fear that often,pondering on it isn’t good for my mental health.But this week, I have spent a generous amount of time thinking about it, not so much my own fears,but fear in general. The thoughts of it started, after I received a call from my neighbor(the Type A labeling MFer himself) the other afternoon. He called to ask if I was scared of bugs,to which I answered him ,”No just scared to leave my house at times.” He didn’t get my joke, and went on to say that his girlfriend was at his house and is pretty freaked out because she saw a bug and was there any way I could go over and kill it for her. Being the nice non type A person I am,I went right over to his house and knocked on the door. To my surprise, his girlfriend answered the door sobbing, with tears streaming down her face. Instantly I hugged her ,told her she was going to be OK and asked her what was wrong. She proceeded to explain to me between hyperventilated breathes, that she saw a bug in their bedroom closet. I was thinking, “Wow! This must be one hell of a bug to have her this upset!” but when I got to the closet and through the instructions she was giving me from ten feet away,I found the bug. It was an ordinary sized bug,that with one paper towel and squeezing of my fingers around that towel,not only picked it up but put it to death by intentional smushing.Presto! Her bug problem solved within mere seconds and the look of petrified fear on her face melted almost as quickly. She thanked me profusely as I walked back out the front door,dead bug in hand.

Walking back home I started thinking about fear,the why,what,and how of it all.After a couple of days of thinking though,I’m still no closer to understanding it. I mean I am the biggest fear freak I know ,and yet killing bugs or even snakes for that matter, doesn’t scare me.Believe it or not, I am known to my friends as “The Snake Wrangler” among other, less positive nick names. Whenever they have a snake on their property, I have no problem going over there, taking on the serpent, and showing it who’s boss.Yet when it comes to life, I find myself riddled with undefined fears.I’m not scared of a certain object. I just more less move through life with an impending sense of doom.That some times makes it impossible to leave my house. How fu*ked up and ridiculous is that? If there was one thing I could change about myself, not being a slave to my anxiety would be it.I would even put it before getting a boob job,which for anyone that knows me knows that means, it’s a really big deal.

I guess fear is different for everyone. I wonder if that means the cure has to be totally individual too? I don’t know,but I’m open to other people’s insight on this subject. So I ask of you…..What scares you? Why are you scared? How do you handle it? Your thoughts are highly appreciated.
Thank You!



  1. I sometimes faint when given an injection if I see the needle and I have no idea why ….. nothing in my childhood as far as I can remember, I don’t mind the small amount of discomfort – I always have to look away or close my eyes.

  2. My daughter has the same fear,DP.
    The last time I took her to the doctor, they started talking about giving her a shot.I was kneeling right below the table holding her hand and she fainted and fell right into my face. They decided to wait on giving her the shot, and I walked out with a black eye.

  3. I think the thing I’m most afraid of is failure. It prevents me from doing things I’d like to try because I’m terrified of failing to be able to do it. Which, admittedly, is completely retarded so I try to ignore my fear as much as possible. Sometimes I’m successful. Other times, not so much.

    I agree with you though. I think that the cure for fear depends on each individual. It takes different methods to get through to different people going through the same problems. Why should fear be any different?

  4. Juliet,I use to have a fear of failure myself.Until I decided at least it’s something I’m really good at. Everyone has got to be known for something!!

  5. Wish I could help–really do. Understanding things like fear are well above my pay grade. Try this one. I “thrive” on fear. I just react quickly and often and usually decisively when running on fear. Some times it works out–sometimes not. Point is it takes all kinds to make “us” work. I cannot explain it though. Sorry. It probably means that you are normal!

  6. You know it’s odd Don,but a lot of things “normal” people have fear about(i.e. spiders,snakes,the dark) I have no fear with.
    My fears are just very strange in nature. For example,I have a huge fear that I will just keel over and nobody will help save me. So I spend wayyy to much time focusing on how I feel to try and save myself before it happens. See I’m a weirdo.

  7. I’m pretty fearless. But I do have some common fears like everyone else. #1 being dying.

    For the most part if faced with something that could be considered frightening to someone else, I get in a zone and just handle it.

    I guess the only thing I fear, would be to actually find something that really scares me more than dying. I could expound on that all night, but will refrain from making a post within your post.

    My wife on the other hand…I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rushed home in the middle of work to squash a bug. Just like your neighbor, anything with 6 or more legs completely sends her over the edge.

  8. Something more frightening than dying,Erebus? I can’t even imagine. I agree with you ,death is probably the most common fear.

  9. Being “weird” as you put it IS normal! Sounds like some of the fears you describe are all too normal to–right?
    BTW: just thought I’m drop back in to see how you were doing. So, how are you doing? 🙂

  10. LOL! Being weird is normal…I like that one ,Don.
    Thanks for dropping in to see if I was OK. I’m fine. I think you’ll see the more you get to know me….I’m a fighter,and I will win my war against this one day.

  11. If I have learned anything about you, you are MOST DEFINITELY a survivor and I am sure you will be just fine.

    As far as the fear thing goes, it is my belief that it is absolutely an individual thing and unfortunately, my friend, I believe there is NO CURE. Because it is so individualized, it depends on each person and how they “Cope”. It will never go away, just get back-burnered, by learning to “cope”. (Again, my belief and not proven as truth).

    All of us have the odd idiosyncratic fears that others would view as crazy, but we all learn how to function at least under the facade of normalcy in public. You are doing just fine in my opinion. Keep plugging and eventually you’ll figure it out.

    BTW – I have MAJOR anxiety attacks in TJ Maxx. Why? Who knows, but I won’t shop there anymore. Can you say, “Now who’s weird?”


  12. Thank you,DMLD for your kind words. I really appreciate your sweetness!

    As for your anxiety attacks,do they only happen in TJMaxx? Maybe it’s a certain scent that does it to you.

  13. Keep that fighter spirit – as someone said, we have nothing to fear but fear itself. It IS normal to feel fear (I fear Don will do another wet farts story) but we have to face the fears and soldier on. Most of us, when truly tested, manage to overcome our natural fears and do what’s necessary. Fearing is normal. Letting it rule your life isn’t.

  14. I realize that letting fear take over isn’t normal,Bill.

    I wasn’t always like this. I figure this started because of hormone changes in my body,or it’s payment for being a wild child most of my life!

  15. “Something more frightening than dying,Erebus?”

    I said I could expound on it all day. Let’s just say I’ve seen some things in my life that would make some wish for death. Me included. Just don’t want to go there. Your blog isn’t dark enough to taint with that sort of thing. Stay quirky! The world is a better place that way.

    God I hope I didn’t just creep you out. Didn’t mean to if I did.

    To answer another question you left me – when the wife and I make a decision, I’ll fill you in on all the details of process.

  16. You didn’t “creep” me out,Erebus. I understand through human experience, that life isn’t always a sunny place. Everyone has dark corners,that scare them.
    I think you just explained how you handle yours. Thank you for that.

    I wish you and your wife tons of luck ,if you decide to make that step.

  17. Hi there! Wow, what a great post!

    Fear = excitement.

    That’s how I choose to look at it. Somehow it makes things a smidge easier.

    Fear is our “ego” mind telling us how to *feel* at that moment. If you think about it, that little bug couldn’t have done any harm to her. But her mind told her to react that way.

    So, I keep thinking – fear = excitement. I change the way I react to things.

    Oh, and if a bear were to be chasing me…. I’d be excited to get the heck outta there!


  18. Thank you ,Monica.
    That’s a cool way of handling fear. Would you handle it the same way if physical sensations(dizziness,heart palpitations,sweating,not getting enough air) brought on the fear?

  19. My wife squished a nasty bug with her strappy heels!
    She’s braver then I am!!

  20. Have no fear Anonymous…..The woman in stilettos is here!!

    • Where is the strappy stiletto bug squish?

      • I have no idea!

  21. A bug getting squashed under stiletto sandals, sounds like a fetish!? I guest it’s a win win situation.

    • That’s a great way to look at it,Anna!

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