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Switching Sides

August 7, 2008

My brain is on hiatus this week.I can’t seem to keep a single active thought in my head for more than a couple seconds, before it disappears into the deep abyss of toxic sludge that used to be my mind. I know that it’s lack of function is due to the fact, that my hormones have decided to go ape shit in my body and their decision has left me more mentally challenged than usual. The only thought that seems to filter through the mental slime is ,how much it sucks being a woman sometimes.

Men have it so much easier and that is a fact,just ask any woman. It is the truth! Don’t believe me? Let me give you a couple of examples….1. Men don’t have to worry about their physical appearance, like a woman does.Just look at any media,most of the men just look like your average everyday guy,if you even notice them.Women in the media on the other hand ,most that you see are near naked, showing off a body and a face that you know, God alone didn’t create .I’m sure ,some man helped out either with a wallet or a scalpel.It’s such a double standard and I believe the reason this continues to be OK in society is, because women are more sympathetic than men,when it comes to “the looks department”. We can overlook that a guy looks rode hard and hung up wet and still date him.Probably because we were raised to believe ,that if you kissed a frog he just might turn into a prince.Does that happen?No, most of the time you are just left with frog breath,but for some reason, women remain hopeful…… 2. A man can become a father, and his body is the same as it was before children. Women cannot say the same thing.Everything on a woman’s body,shrinks,sags and looks distorted after having a baby.It takes tons of work to get our bodies back ,to even looking like a cheap knock off of the original version. This is proof, women are much more selfless than men.Trust me, if a man’s penis was to shrink every time he had a child,there would be a lot less children in the world…….3.Men tend to make more money,PERIOD.No need for discussion on that one. And well, we all know the list goes on….

It’s just a fact of life,men have it easier than women, and it got me thinking….. What if I could be a man for a day?I totally would!!…. What is the first thing I would do? The first thing was an easy answer for me.I would want to try out the whole standing up and peeing thing, looks like fun and a lot less work….. Then the thought turned into ,who would I want to be? This answer came to me just as quick….I would want to be Prince,no doubt about it. I have many reasons for my answer ,a couple of them being that I just think he has the coolest vibe ,and I would love to be able to play the guitar and sing like he does. If you really think about it, the change wouldn’t be that drastic .We are already the same height. Plus,I love to wear heels and assless chaps. All I would really need is ,brown eyes,my hair dyed dark ,a tan,Oh..and a penis. That’s it, and Wha- La, I’d be The Purple One. Can’t you just picture it??

So,there are my answers and I leave you with the same questions. If you could switch teams for the day, What’s the first thing you would want you do, and who would you want to be??? Men, please just humor me with your answers. I already know, you wouldn’t want to even try, to be a woman. Life is hard enough as is.

Prince – Kiss [Video] – Prince

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15 comments

  1. Ahhh, too funny. Being a woman so has it’s advantages too. Like, being able to drop a man to his knees with just a wink. 😉

    AND we don’t have to keep up the “I AM THE MAN” persona (btw that gets so old).

    However, I totally feel ya! Me and my saggy bod understand.

    Hope you feel better soon! 😉


  2. Thanks Zyriana!
    You’ll have to tell me how you are able to drop a man to his knees with just a wink…I’ve always had to use my feet and sharp objects to drop em.


  3. The TG has always relied on shin kicking as well ……. tsk.

    I wouldn’t mind being a goddess for a day but I would be quite choosy about which day and I might get a tad distracted by my chestal area I suppose …….. tee hee


  4. Sometimes a good kick in the shin is NEEDED in some cases, Daddy Papersurfer.

    I’m sure most men would be to distracted if they got to be a woman for the day.


  5. I could handle being a woman for a day but I wouldn’t pick any female celebrity to be. Instead, I would be a woman who had already experienced living to the fullest. Raising several children successfully and ever supportive of her man. I would dress in my finest and sit in my home that my love built and remember back on all the feelings… both physical and emotional… all the memories… the good and the bad… and mentally inventory my body from head to toe reveling in the deliciousness of being me and live gratefully in the moment. I would do this in hopes of coming back into my own man body and mind and remembering the experience and become even more appreciative of the cosmic beauty that is Woman.


  6. Tony,
    Your comment was so profound. I almost gave up my dream of being Prince for a day.Just beautiful!


  7. You are right. 100%. For the reasons you have listed, plus many more. I wouldn’t trade my penis for anything. Then again, a week with Angelina Jolie before giving it up might make me think twice 😉

    I enjoyed reading your page – Funny and quirky.


  8. LOL…spoken like a true man,Erebus. I love your honesty. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you come again.


  9. LOL! Well, the drop ’em to their knees with a wink usually included some sort of chemical. But hey! Only women would think of that. 🙂

    HUGS!


  10. Ah! Zyriana…so that’s how you do it. No wonder why you look so peaceful and content…you’ve got it all figured out. I think I could learn tons from you!!!


  11. If you could be a man for a day, you’d just waste it playing with your penis like the rest of us.


  12. LOL,Sully
    Well I now know ,what you do with your day.No wonder you don’t own a car.
    Plus, I would think that penile mind control would take longer than a day to take over,so I would be safe.


  13. you missed the most important item. the thing that makes it much harder to be a man than a woman.

    …and that is that men are doomed to love women

    (gay men exempted)


  14. Douchewatcher(btw..very catchy name),
    I think doomed works both ways in love.It’s not just a “man” thing. Women definitely have it harder,hands down.


  15. its not just a name its a way of life

    http://www.douchewatcher.com



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