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All Hail The Mullet Man!!!

May 19, 2008

After spending all afternoon yesterday on the beach; I woke up this morning on a mission to find every single exercise video I have ever purchased. Not because I looked that bad in my bikini, but enough people I saw at the beach DID look that bad and it made me nervous. I felt an overwhelming need to secure safety in my size and the only way to ensure I stay the way I want to is, to exercise. YUCK! The truth of the matter is that I HATE to exercise; plain and simple. I don’t really understand people who claim that they absolutely LOVE it. They always sound to me like they are missing a chromosome.

I set out on a quest to reassemble my whole arsenal of fitness hell, because I can’t remember which ones I actually liked or which ones actually worked. After rounding up about a good twenty VHS tapes and DVDs; I decided to pop them in and jog my memory (at least one part of my being would get a work out today). A good eighteen of the arsenal found that their services would no longer be needed and ended up in the trash with last night’s dinner. I can’t believe I actually spent money on some of this crap. Who wants to sweat and struggle with people who look perfect? Smiling, with their perfect muscular bodies glistening in the sun on some beautiful beach somewhere. Give me a break! Most people start exercising because; they don’t feel good about how they look. How is working out with beautiful freaks of nature on the screen, going to help keep you motivated? I felt defeated within the warm up period. I mean it’s not natural to be able to exercise and smile at the same time!!

That’s why the tapes I kept were made by a man named Tony Little. You know who I’m talking about, maybe not by name but all I have to say is that guy that sells “The Gazelle” fitness machine on infomercials all the time. HA! You remember now don’t you? See Tony is hard to forget; because Tony tends to be annoying and loud. Which might put alot of people off and have them opt for the other tapes I spoke of earlier. Not me though, I love Tony! Because if I have to do something I hate; I would rather do it with someone that I don’t perceive as perfect. It just makes me feel better about myself. Don’t get me wrong, he has a body to die for. You can see the exercises he’s doing do work. Other than that though, you can tell he still has problems in other areas of his life. His personality comes off as abrasive(I’ll admit I have to turn the volume all the way down when I work out with him and turn on some music for background noise) Can you imagine him trying to pick someone up at a bar? I believe he might scare people. If not by yelling “YOU CAN DO IT” then definitely by rocking a mullet in the year 2008.

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4 comments

  1. I noticed you were stalking and thought I’d say hello.
    I do like a goddess who plans ahead, re:birthday post – tee hee.
    Why don’t you join Fuelmyblog? It’s a good way to meet some people, or not if you don’t want to, and to get some more readers.
    I like the way you write and it would be good if more people saw your ‘stuff’……… just a thought.

    Toodle pip ……..


  2. You’re a member already!!! Stooopid me – goin’ to have a lie down now, I’m obviously tired.


  3. Love the post. Am searching for my old exercise tapes that grew old on the shelves. šŸ˜€

    JJ…had trouble posting so hope this one works.


  4. Loved your template šŸ™‚



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