WOW!!! LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL BREASTS ON ME!!!!May 10, 2009
OK, I lied. I am nowhere near the point where I’m about to show anybody my tig o’ bitties. Because no matter how big the damn things are right now, they look worse than someone who went five rounds with Mike Tyson, and although I can say that I walked away with both of my ears intact, the same can’t be said for my nipples… they’re still bandaged. But all the Percocet that they have me on is making me feel like everything is going to be A-OK. If only all the itching would stop.I swear, that’s one thing I learned really quick in my quest for breast mastery is that pain killers stop the pain but replace it with a horrible itching sensation ,which might not seem like much of a side effect to people who have full dexterity of their arms, but for someone who can’t raise the roof like John McCain… it fucking sucks.
Another thing that has bothered the shit out of me this week is I’ve found I don’t function very well on drugs,in fact writing just that last shitty paragraph took me since Tuesday afternoon till today to complete. I’m still not very happy with any of it,but then I remembered my last post comments were where my loyal,slightly perverted, but still lovable readers told me that they were more visual learners, so to not disappoint them nor myself with lack of posting,I felt the need to blog about what my chest does not look like anymore.
So I set out looking.I scoured the internet for some time trying to find the perfect photo that would give anyone who saw the picture a mental scar on their brain that might require medical treatment after viewing such a monstrosity as my old boobage was. My search was futile in finding perfection though,for some reason typing in” tits that hang as low as testicles” didn’t turn up a personal photo of yours truly, so I had to settle for these two beauties and ask y’all to use your imaginations to place my face.
I picked this one because I thought it showed how low they really hung.Of course, I don’t have nearly as sassy as a smile as this lovely lady.
This photo I really don’t think needs an explanation,but I’ll give one anyways. I thought it was a shiny example of no matter how low they hung….I never lost an ounce of class,and that’s what it’s all about. Well that, and healing for me right now. So keep your fingers crossed and I’ll keep my breasts bandaged until they finally look like this….